Naomi Krause

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Naomi Krause • June 15, 2025

Don't harass anyone you fucks. This is a satirical, exaggerated article. The folks behind a silly card game show are not horrible people I intend to personally destroy. I just don't like ads 🙁 What was originally thought to be a bug caused the…

Naomi Krause • April 29, 2025

TARKIR - An investigation/robbery by Jeskai authorities this week discovered that Sarkhan Vol's dragon obsession is balancing on a dangerous precipice after his budget was found to have allocated funds for Dragon Girl Bathwater. "He's a dragon half the time which is neat,…

Naomi Krause • April 27, 2025

COLUMBUS, OH - Hearts were not shattered this morning when the notorious Dockside Extortionist was denied appeal for banlist parole after serving six months of a life sentence.  "What we're really worried about is recidivism." Said an unnamed board member who definitely isn't Ragavan in a fake mustache. "The card's…